Refeeding: a tale of erratic bowels and beastly flatulence
If scatal humour, or talk of bodily functions in general, isn't your thing...I would recommend giving this one a miss.
An eating disorder does one absolutely no favours when it comes to healthy relationships, not least due to the metabolic havoc wrecked in one’s intestines by dysfunctional eating habits. It’s not conducive to people wanting to stick around for long, that’s for sure.
Turns our neither severely restricting nor consuming extortionate quantities of celery* gives your intestines much confidence in your ability to provide them with a steady and predictable stream of nutrition. The flatulence resulting from that kind of behaviour alone is bad enough...but oh boy, nothing can prepare you (or anyone within 10 metres of you) for what follows when you start eating regular meals again.
The refeeding farts. The odds are never in your favour. As the body gets used to receiving improved, regular fuel again, it’s almost as if the gut bacteria have shaken and popped the biggest, fizziest bottle of champagne ever to grace this earth and partied as if it’s the last night of their lives.
To all who have had the unfortunate event of being privy to this on my account over the past few months, I apologise deeply, from the bottom of my flatulent soul. To my parents especially, deepest, deepest condolences.
The solid stuff is oft problematic, too. Turns out the large intestine finds abnormal and/or irregular eating a challenge when it comes to the expulsion of my waste contents...and, I suppose that’s fair enough. My party trick? I can go from one to six on the Bristol Stool chart in less than 30 seconds. *dabs*
But, I have to say...I’d sort of forgotten just how incredibly satisfying the feeling of ridding one‘s body of a healthy kilo of faeces can feel. It’s safe to say, now things are starting to become more regular down there, I’ve been immensely enjoying this feeling again. It’s like hygge, but more exciting.
Oh, recovery is so hard and unpredictable. But at least my bowels aren’t anymore. Silver linings, eh.
“Putting a meaningful quote or Bible passage here like usual seems slightly off-kilter with this post. So let’s just leave this here.”
*thank the Lord I’m over that phase. Abominable stuff.